Breaking Down The Sideshow For A Bit

I started Sideshow 1.) to write about my family, because I was always with them, talking about them and working with them anyway, 2.) after over a decade being creative for my job I thought it'd be fun to do it for myself and 3.) my sister's blog is amazing and helped me see how it's truly just another way to bring storytelling to life – and I'm always up for a good story. Oh, plus 4.) our brother is a Sideshow dude. So, yeah, it kind of made sense.

Kathleen's blog. That fur hat's mine, but everything else she wears, eats, treks or wills into being... is distinctly Kathleen.

So I'm breaking down the tent for now. Taking this act on the road in a way. Because now I really do work with my sister everyday. That whole "being creative for myself" kind of stuck and we've struck out on a tightwire to start our own business together, Braid Creative. I'll be blogging over there about what it means to be a creative professional, branding and storytelling, and about our new adventures. In between Kathleen making me a snack and some tea of course. By the way she has zero carbs in her house (yes, the famous house of Jeremy & Kathleen is where we office) so I'm going to have to bring my own bag of pretzels or something!

What's next for Donny Vomit? After a beer label, touring the world, and creating new dangerous stunts? Hmm. To be continued...

As for Donny, we still get to see him a few times a year. You'd think we'd all go out and paint the town during these reunions, but typically we play board games or do puzzles for days on end. Mom baking, dad popping in to grumble a bit, the kids running in circles around us, but we are in our own world.

Donny and I are talking a lot lately about his new show that he wants to produce, with a throwback Coney Island romanticized theme. I think we may write it together. I get goosebumps thinking about it. Kathleen and I talk to him a lot about his personal brand, what the next step is for him. We feel so strongly he is just a second away from the big lights – from greatness.

Sometimes we don't talk at all. We just are.

So if you've just stumbled on this Sideshow, feel free to read through. It's a bit like a memoir that's only been half lived through yet. Acquaint yourself with the characters, Tara, Donny, Kathleen. Three siblings from the suburbs who became creative forces (and freaks) of nature. At least, that's what the headline says. I sometimes think it feels like a book, or on a really aspirational day maybe like a scene from Tenenbaums.

The stories of our own personal sideshow will keep. Maybe a year. Maybe a few more. But you can bet I'll have some amazing stories to tell, when the tent is resurrected.

Don't worry, we're still playing the game around the table – just a second away from something we don't quite know yet. Maybe greatness, yes. But it doesn't matter, because being at the table together is great enough.

Our Brother's Hair. Like Samson's.

Photo by Sean Hopkins

From Coney Island, NY to here at home in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma all the way to Port Macquarie, Australia, Donny Vomit is known for his handlebar mustache (and his ability to hammer a nail up his nose). It's his personal brand. And I've often called his mustache his "swagger."

It's not that he couldn't eat light bulbs or breath fire or stick his tongue in a rat trap for the pleasure of a swooning crowd without it, but he just wouldn't do it with the same style.

I think perhaps there has always been some magic in Donny's hair. It sounds weird and a bit awkward to write, there's no poetry really in that phrase, other than I chose to stick the word magic in there. And a bit ironic since he has not a single hair on top of his actual head. But when he was a boy it's what made him look so much like the eighties kids on the screen from Wonder Years' Kevin to E.T.'s Elliot (today you'd probably say Harry Potter, to boot). He was just so freaking cute.

But even Donny who can evade throwing-daggers from hitting is tender bits, who can manuever swallowing-swords as to not puncture his esophagus, and can gracefully juggle chainsaws without lopping off a limb – even he could not avoid the cringingly unavoidable strike of teenagerdom.



Basically when cute just becomes painfully not-cute.

So Donny's wardrobe turned monochromatic, a spectrum of greys and blacks (he didn't own a colored article of clothing until well into his twenties) and he grew his hair out very, very, very long. And to top it all off, he donned a signature vintage top hat from mid high all the way through high school. We'd had this hat in our family for years, a gift to my mom from one of her hippie friends, the story being it came all the way from Woodstock. Donny wore that hat every single day, no matter the season or occasion, until it literally fell apart.

But you know what? We didn't mind. It was cool. Sure, we'd get looks when we'd go to the mall together to go clothes shopping. They have grey and black clothes as JCPenney. My mom says that to this day whenever she sees steampunk kids walking by, she thinks "uh, Donny totally invented that look and you don't even know it." Actually, our mom is probably a second away from actually telling them that out loud at times. Now that would be an embarrassing mall moment.

Truly the only time it was ever a "deal" was the morning when Columbine went down. The phrase "trenchcoat mafia" was all over the morning talk shows and news tickers. I remember our dad calling the house to track down Kathleen and then me at my college apartment in the same town. He was like "somebody stop Donny from going to school today in his trenchcoat, because I'm sure he's completely unaware of what just happened." He was afraid someone would do something really awful to Donny.

Donny, the most nonconfrontational human being in the world.

Who still did jigsaw puzzles with his sisters every weekend.

Who went on family vacations with us, and went to plays and bought souvenirs. Because you can still be a tourist in a black top hat.

You can also still visit your grandma and sit on her flower-couch and smile sweetly if someone pointed a camera at you. Now, your older sister (that would be me) might just still have the pissiest face ever, but that would pass with time, too. Ooh, check out my Doc Martens knock-offs! I was always good at mainstreaming it, and then just mixing it up the tiniest bit. But not good at smiling for pictures.

And you could still be a perfect prom date. All of a sudden your long hair is dashing and handsome.

And then you're over it. And your sisters (both of them) take you to get it all cut off.

Now, if Donny is Samson in this story, I don't want you to think that his two sisters were some sort of harpie-like, pushing-our-hair-agenda, Delilah-type sisters. This was something he wanted to do. We just happened to be supporters. It was probably the year 2000 by this point, the nineties were over, let's just do it bro.

But we didn't chop his locks without some ceremony. The hairstylist actually braided his hair down his back first. Then she cut it off all at once. We put it in a shadowbox. Seriously. After that, you would have thought he was a toddler getting his first cut the way we were just making such a huge deal out of it. We photographed the whole thing as he sat in the hairdresser's chair (of course I couldn't find those photos).

Actually, I couldn't find very many photos at all of Donny in the period between losing his long hair... and growing his mustache. His magic.

Photos by Lisa DiNicola

And now when Donny comes home to visit and we still do jigsaw puzzles and go to the mall, forgoing Hot Topic with a wry isn't-that-nostalgic-smile and heading for the Gap because Donny now wears more colors than black and needs a sweater in a rusty orange or a nice olive green.

And he still gets looks from the little kids and the moms and even the steampunk kids walking by (but their looks are a bit awe inspired), and mom is less tempted to tell them "what's-what" and more likely to just pridefully whisper, "I think they know you're Donny Vomit." And of course we don't mind, either. It's cool.

Coney Island Mermaid Parade with "Legs Malone" aka Donny's nice girl Anna.

Oh, and he still makes a dashing prom date.

What Donny Vomit Did On Summer Vacation

Part of helping our parents get settled into their new house is figuring out where to hang all our framed family photos, art, mirrors, and random taxidermy. That means finding a hammer. And in the Thomas house (once you've dug through a shoe box of screws and nails and mistmatched picture-hanging hardware)... that can also mean finding a hammer like this.

This conjures up an image for me (while alone in my mom's master-suite bathroom about to hang some art by the tub) of Donny back when he was first figuring out this whole sideshow thing of his.

I can just picture him before the handlebar mustache, before the shaved head, and before the Lasik (a Christmas present from mom) pushing his cute John Lennon spectacles back up his nose, while carefully painting the handle of one of our parent's old hammers white – but still leaving a proper mess of dripped paint behind him on the garage floor. And then coming up with the very clever (and very Tim Burton inspired) idea of adding jaunty black stripes out of electrician's tape.

photo: Autumn Luciano

And then I picture him wherever he might be.

Donny's Summer "Vacation":

1. He promoted his Human Blockhead Lager

2. Left his steady gig at Coney Island, still making special appearances but free to tour more

3. Traveled the country performing with the Pretty Things Peep Show

4. They even took the show to Australia, where he showed a little leg, but...

5. He still saved some moves for his family. Specifically for the spontaneous sibling balcony dance party, on the very, very top floor of our very, very, very tall beach rental in Destin, Florida.

That's just the condensed version. Here's Donny's full report.

Even though my dream was to move to New York and establishing myself as a performer at the Coney Island Sideshow, I decided this summer that it was time to move forward and fufill another goal to travel the states and the world. So I jumped across country to kick off Seattle Beer Week with the crew of Coney Island Lager. For three years I have hosted The Kulture Freaks at Brouwers Restaurant, joined by Nic Sin for a night of debauchery and beers.

The Summer really began with a Winter Festival. Twenty hours in flight to Australia. I was set up for ten days in Port Macquarie at a rockabilly festival. Made friends with the locals and traveled around town in classic cars.

Once back in NYC joined up with Shmaltz brewing company for the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island. Had my two favorite girls with me as we rode a float down Surf Avenue. Heather my sword-swallowing partner, and Anna my actual "girl." After partying with the Mermaids on the shores of Coney I headed south for another beach – a week with the family in Destin, Florida.

Returned to NYC and picked up another one of my side jobs, swallowing swords for Ripley's Believe it or Not! Odditorium! Spending time with magician, Albert Cadabra, always leads to endless hours of laughter and mischief.

Soon I was back out on the road as July rolled in. Thirteen days of tour to Chicago and back. Our RV, "The Shasta" has become a second home to me. Once back in town headed to Tuxedo Lake, NY for some relaxation with Anna. Playing with dogs and paddling in the lake. Ended July with a trip to Harrisburg Pennsylvania for three nights.

And, August? Well, it's taking me and the Pretty Things Peep Show on another cross country tour, including Reno and Las Vegas, Nevada.

I'm thinking Donny has probably left more than just one hammer behind in all his travels. I'm sure when we pull out the Halloween decorations I'll find some other oddity to get sentimental about. But that's, well... a whole other season.

Feeling Famousish

Usually Donny or Kathleen are getting press. But this month I've got my very own feature, okay, one page (pg. 21 to be exact), in MARCH magazine. It's for like lady-power-types like me. You know, because all the lady-power-types wear purple jeans and do all their work on Etch-A-Sketch. I just tried to channel Kathleen in this pose.





Kathleen only had to channel Kathleen when she was featured in the Glamour Weddings blog. Look! Kate Winslet and Kathleen are on the same page! Now, if that's not famousish, I don't know what is.





Even Donny got a bit part in Martha Stewart Weddings for officiating this really cool circus-sideshow-coney-themed wedding under the Brooklyn Bridge.

Look! Half his head! Martha herself picked out that shot, all Anna Wintour style. I bet there were like fifty pictures of half of Donny's head all pasted up on some stark backlit wall. Interns and art directors were crying. But in the end... an editorial masterpiece.



But usually Donny's editorials are of the counter-culture variety. I think this story was from Inked magazine. Martha's critical eye had no part in this meticulously crafted spread. She probably would tsk-tsk at the reversed out shadowed body copy type. She has standards, people, standards!

That's how she got to be a lady-power-type, you know. Like me.

Donny Vomit As Muse

So, not surprisingly, Donny... or I should say Donny Vomit really seems to capture peoples' imaginations. These are just a sampling of some of the creations various artists have made with him as their inspiration.

From left to right art by: Luma Rouge, Wyatt Terwilliger and, er... I don't know who did the last one (dang, it's my favorite, too) I'm so unprofessional. But I have to say, I don't think Donny has that much chest hair.



Of course, Donny Vomit has been depicted in a more official way on his namesake brew, Human Blockhead of The Coney Island Lager series by Shmaltz brewing. And every time I see his Coney Island sideshow banner stretched over the boardwalk I get goosebumps.

Seriously, my husband was playing the Grand Theft Auto the other night that's set in the "fake New York" and he's driving around Coney Island. So I direct him down a side alley, and boom, you can see the little video game Coney Island sideshow banners. I couldn't quite make out if one of them was Donny's but I pretend that it is. Then we go rob someone and carjack them. The perfectly-artsy Marie Roberts is famous for painting all the Coney Island banners. I wonder if she knows about the Grand Theft Auto game?

But I also just think it's funny to see all the other little mini-masterpieces from the professional to the, er, not-so-professional, that are floating around out there.

by Gal Stark Arad Kabiri

by Kenny Lombardi


by Melissa Belkin Presti (and one of the few before Donny grew his mustache!)


by Sharon S. Ma

What's weird is that Kathleen and I both mastered in fine arts. But I don't think either of us have actually ever done a, you know, a "rendered" Donny piece (designing his web site and mustache contest posters and wax tins don't count). We're kind of weird about our own art anyway. Like it's a parlor trick or something that we can just draw or paint or whatever. But it's not something we do. We like to save the parlor tricks for Donny.

And save the Donny art for... his most artsy fans.

On The Road Again

Photo: Vegas Vision Studios

So Donny is on the road again, touring the country in a crowded trailer full of costumes, girls, roadies and a dog... with the Pretty Things Peep Show.


Photos: Deanna Marie

And there's lots of exhilarating on-stage moments like this one.

Photo: Eric Harvey Brown

And exhausting ones, too. This is Donny's stressed out but-taking-charge-in-the-moment look.

Kathleen had a quick visit with him after his show when he came through Tulsa on some random Wednesday night a couple weeks ago. She said he was "accidentally sober." That he hadn't really been partaking in the festivities that ultimately surround their shows in the bars and lounges and hole-in-the-walls their burlesque tour takes them. And so he was missing home. Thinking about settling down and getting "domestic." Donny Vomit Homemaker.

It could happen.

Donny's Girl + Friend

Photo by Bill Steber. Takes the best Coney Island photos.

Meet Heather Holliday.

Not to be mistaken as Donny's girlfriend, as she often is. An understandable assumption since oohh, I don't know, Donny lets her throw knives between his legs and whip cigarettes out of his mouth.

Heather and Donny have been performing together (and looking out for each other) from Coney to across the country pretty much since Donny moved to New York. Heather was super-young, super-shy and starting her path as well – playing the doe-eyed and modestly frilly-frocked sideshow equivalent of a magician's assistant.

But just like Donny came into his own about the same time he grew his trademark whiskers, Heather got all grown up as well. The biggest reason – she can swallow swords now. The second reason, her frilly frocks have gotten a little more "hotsy totsy" as Donny would say (as Donny would say and teach my six-year-old to say.)

Now that Heather's down-right dangerous her and Donny strike an awful smoking pose, watch them perform here. But even though Donny's always been a little shy with real life girls, he's never had a problem sidling up to a bombshell for a photo op.

Hmmm. Guess where he learned that from?

And one guess who has that picture of Donny and Heather already framed and front-and-center on his office desk?

Actually, Dad has Donny's business card strategically wedged in the frame to cover up Heathers, er, assets. He works for a state agency. But apparently doesn't think Disney World circa 1989 has a problem with a little innocent groping.

Uncle Donny

I only recently found out what it meant to have a "funny uncle" in the family. It's not very nice. But Donny who is the uncle to my kids is a whole other kind of funny uncle.



One who plays video games with you. Aw. See, that's nice.



One who pushes you around Lowes while your parents shop for a new dishwasher. And entertains you by letting you pick out whatever you want to buy in the whole store. Kind of killing two birds with one stone here as it's a few days 'til Christmas and he didn't bring you any gifts in his suitcase.

Charlie is torn between the 40 feet of hunter's rope, a long gold chain (he's always a sucker for anything that is shiny and therefore possibly worth money) or the irresistible giant dangerous corkscrew looking thingy. Which Donny could probably shove up his nose.

Charlie was allowed to get the rope. The lesser of three evils.



That is until you get tied up with it.



Once that gets boring, Donny invents a new game. Creepy Monkey Feet. All the cool kids are playing it! It's easy, all you need is a pair of men's leather gloves and a funny uncle!







This is where Donny indocrinated Charlie into his world view. He is yelling "wake up sheeple!"

Basically, after the video games, before the creepy monkey feet and on the way to Lowe's, Donny started telling Charlie about how people are mindlessly following "the man." This was triggered by Charlie innocently pointing out his elementary school as we drove by.

Donny told him that's where they put you in a box. And trained him to yell "wake up sheeple!" (sheep + people) all through Lowes, and through the rest of Christmas break at any given time: the movie theatre, the grocery store, parking lots. The weird thing is, was that Charlie's trained cue was whenever Donny started to sing the chorus to Elvis's "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You," he would then interrupt him mid-lyric shouting "wake up sheeple!" And then Donny would high-five him.

Donny hiding out from the "man" in Charlie's bunk.



With a captive audience, Charlie is happy to show off every item in the treasure box he keeps under his bed. It's filled with spray-painted rocks, little vials of gold dust and fancy casino tokens from my father-in-law – and castoff Kathleen jewelry. I think he's hinting that the gold chain from Lowe's would make a mighty fine addition to this loot.

So fast-forward a couple days into holiday break. I'm walking into Target with my handlebar mustached brother, and my cute little blonde mop-headed Charlie...

Donny: (singing) "Take my hand, take my whole hear –"

Charlie: "Wake up sheeple!!!"

Donny: "That's right Charlie. Baaa Baaa – ooh, this Target has a Starbucks?"

Charlie: "I need to go to the bathroom"

Me: "Okay, there's a family bathroom over here, let's go."

Donny: "That's just the man telling you you have to go pee in a box. Just putting you in a box... uh, yes, sorry... I'll have a Grande Latte."

Oh yeah. We're really stirring up the status quo here.

"High-five Charlie."

"Right back at ya funny uncle."