Jan 22, 2011

Uncle Donny

I only recently found out what it meant to have a "funny uncle" in the family. It's not very nice. But Donny who is the uncle to my kids is a whole other kind of funny uncle.


One who plays video games with you. Aw. See, that's nice.


One who pushes you around Lowes while your parents shop for a new dishwasher. And entertains you by letting you pick out whatever you want to buy in the whole store. Kind of killing two birds with one stone here as it's a few days 'til Christmas and he didn't bring you any gifts in his suitcase.

Charlie is torn between the 40 feet of hunter's rope, a long gold chain (he's always a sucker for anything that is shiny and therefore possibly worth money) or the irresistible giant dangerous corkscrew looking thingy. Which Donny could probably shove up his nose.

Charlie was allowed to get the rope. The lesser of three evils.


That is until you get tied up with it.


Once that gets boring, Donny invents a new game. Creepy Monkey Feet. All the cool kids are playing it! It's easy, all you need is a pair of men's leather gloves and a funny uncle!




This is where Donny indocrinated Charlie into his world view. He is yelling "wake up sheeple!"

Basically, after the video games, before the creepy monkey feet and on the way to Lowe's, Donny started telling Charlie about how people are mindlessly following "the man." This was triggered by Charlie innocently pointing out his elementary school as we drove by.

Donny told him that's where they put you in a box. And trained him to yell "wake up sheeple!" (sheep + people) all through Lowes, and through the rest of Christmas break at any given time: the movie theatre, the grocery store, parking lots. The weird thing is, was that Charlie's trained cue was whenever Donny started to sing the chorus to Elvis's "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You," he would then interrupt him mid-lyric shouting "wake up sheeple!" And then Donny would high-five him.



Donny hiding out from the "man" in Charlie's bunk.


With a captive audience, Charlie is happy to show off every item in the treasure box he keeps under his bed. It's filled with spray-painted rocks, little vials of gold dust and fancy casino tokens from my father-in-law – and castoff Kathleen jewelry. I think he's hinting that the gold chain from Lowe's would make a mighty fine addition to this loot.

So fast-forward a couple days into holiday break. I'm walking into Target with my handlebar mustached brother, and my cute little blonde mop-headed Charlie...

Donny: (singing) "Take my hand, take my whole hear –"
Charlie: "Wake up sheeple!!!"
Donny: "That's right Charlie. Baaa Baaa – ooh, this Target has a Starbucks?"
Charlie: "I need to go to the bathroom"
Me: "Okay, there's a family bathroom over here, let's go."
Donny: "That's just the man telling you you have to go pee in a box. Just putting you in a box... uh, yes, sorry... I'll have a Grande Latte."


Oh yeah. We're really stirring up the status quo here.

"High-five Charlie."
"Right back at ya funny uncle."


  1. I never heard Charlie say "wake up sheeple". :(

  2. Ha! I know. He just knows you love it too much when he says "for Pete lovah!" (for pete's sake + for the love of pete).

    He plays to his crowd. In this case... to his uncles.

  3. I never heard him say it either! But maybe it's because he knows Aunt Kathleen loves hearing almost cuss words that make me ask "what did you say!?" even more.

  4. "You're dragging my nuts Aunt Kathleen!"